What Could Have Been
by simply woven
Summary: Just a day in the life of Weaver. Set in season 12, AU in the sense that Sandy never died. Features Weaver, Lopez, Henry, and a bit of Abby, Sam, Morris and Luka. The first fanfic I've written, though it's the the third I've published.


This is sort of an Alternate Universe in the sense that it takes place in season 12 and Sandy Lopez is still alive..other than that, mostly everything coincides with the happenings in season 12...also, I'm not entirely certain if this is even going to lead to anything big or dramatic...it might just end up being a little piece about how it could have been :)

Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters...you know the drill

Spoilers: Nothing major...but really, who hasn't seen season 12 by now? :)

Please, R&R

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**5:00 A.M.  
**

_Beep, beep, beep, beep…_Her alarm clock went off in an almost mocking manner. She rolled over to face the bright green numbers and read that her assumption was correct; it was only five in the morning. She reached out and switched it off, knowing that if she hit snooze, she would have an even harder time waking again. Slowly, she turned back over to face her partner, whose long, caramel colored hair flowed eccentrically in every which way. Gently, she kissed her forehead. Still trying not to wake her, Kerry gingerly swung her legs off the side of her bed and stood up. Grabbing her crutch from the bedside table- it's new-found resting place since her nasty fall a few weeks ago- she slipped out the door and quietly made her way down the hall to her son's room.

There he was, laying peacefully in his crib in a deep, sound sleep, which she knew wouldn't last long. She couldn't help but let a smile loose, he was such a beautiful, loving boy. Knowing there was a schedule she had to keep to, she exited the room and made her way to the bathroom. She went to the shower and tugged on the handle that would send the warm water streaming out of the shower head, switched on the radio to her favorite station that played her preferred eclectic oldies, then sat on the shut toilet seat to undress as she waited for the shower to warm up. Within a short few minutes, the mirror over the sink was fogged in steam and Kerry stepped under the cascade of hot water. Holding out her left hand in front of her, she admired the gold ring that hugged her ring finger. The two strips of yellow gold wove over and under each other, symbolizing unity. Unity was as close to marriage as she and Sandy could get in the state of Illinois, and though they couldn't legally be married, she was just as happy to say they were…because spiritually, they were as in love as any other married couple out in the world.

"Good morning, chica," Her favorite person's voice chimed from the doorway, sending cold tingles down her spine, despite the scorching water, "What time are you on?"

"I don't have to leave until seven thirty to catch the El…" Kerry answered in an inviting tone; one that she knew would entice Sandy to join her. Before she knew it, her lover had joined her in the spacious shower and together they were soaking up the warmth.

"Why don't you just take the car today...it's nasty out there..." Sandy asked.

"No...the El stops closer to the hospital than the sation...I'll be fine...I promise." She answered

"Okay..." Sandy said.

"Oh come on, you should be happy; you won't have to walk ten blocks from the El." Kerry replied with a smile before kissing Sandy on the cheek.

Once they had washed and spent a few more minutes of enjoying the warmth of both the water and each other, they got out of the shower and began their morning rituals of getting ready; Sandy headed into Henry's room after getting dressed, where she found a just-awakening toddler smiling up at his Momma, and brought him into the bathroom, where Kerry was just done blow drying her hair.

"Hello my boy, how are you this morning?" Kerry asked tenderly, as she gave him a light kiss on his smooth forehead.

"I'm going to go and get him some breakfast and start some for us…what do you want?" Sandy asked as they walked into their room.

"Anything you want is fine with me," Kerry answered, "but which sweater?" She asked as she grabbed a sky-blue v-neck sweater and a lilac turtleneck sweater from the end of their bed.

"Okay, scrambled eggs it is…and the purple one." Sandy replied, as she walked out of their bedroom with Henry on her hip.

**  
6:30 A.M.**

"So, what time is your mom coming over to watch Henry?" Kerry asked as she walked into the homely kitchen.

"Around eight thirty…I'm on nine 'till nine." Sandy said as she placed a bowl of cheerios in front of Henry, who was sitting in his high chair.

"Okay, I should be home around eight thirty tonight, but let her know that I'll call if I get held up at work or something." Kerry answered as she leaned her crutch against the side of the kitchen island, allowing her to make her way across the small kitchen over to the counter where she grabbed a banana. Supporting her sore, unstable hip, she held onto the counter as she headed back to the island to cut up pieces for Henry's cereal.

"You know...I really wish you wouldn't do that?" Sandy said sharply.

"Do what? Give our son banana in his cereal? I know you aren't a fan of them yourself, but..." Kerry answered light-heartedly, knowing that wasn't quite what Sandy had meant.

"You know what I mean...you should be careful...for all you know, I could have spilt some milk or something and you could slip, or...." Sandy answered.

"Here you go, bud," Kerry answered, ignoring Sandy's arguement; she knew what she could and couldn't do.

"Thank you, Mommy." Henry said softly, after she had cut half of it into his bowl.

"You are very welcome, my love." Kerry replied, silently pleased that he had such good manners. Going back to the counter, Kerry dropped the knife she was using in the sink and went to the coffee maker where she poured to cups.

"Would you please sit down? God, Kerry, if you aren't going to do anything about your hip, you aren't going to do any good to anyone by aggravating it any more." Sandy asked, obviously irked by Kerry's defiance. Rolling her eyes, Kerry answered,

"I'm sitting, I'm sitting," she said as she sat down, "See? No harm done," she finished, turning her attention towards Henry, "Is that good, buddy?" she asked with a laugh, noticing how ferociously he was devouring his cheerios. He smiled and replied with a vigorous nod, causing Sandy to laugh as well.

**  
7:15 A.M.**

"Hey Sandy, I'm going to have to head out…" Kerry called into the kitchen as she wrapped her salmon colored scarf around her neck and put her black wool coat on.

"Okay, just hold on a sec and I'll come say bye!" Sandy replied.

"Bye-bye, Mommy! I love you." Henry said, getting up from where he sat in the living room to run over and hug her.

Carefully bending down, she gave him a big squeeze, "I love you too…be a good boy for abuelita today, alright?" She asked. He nodded in response as she kissed his forehead.

"Sandy! I've really got to go!" Kerry called, facing the coat rack next to the door where she was buttoning up her coat and slipping on her leather gloves. Right as she turned around to call out again, Sandy engulfed her in a tight hug and kissed her.

"I love you…have a good day." Sandy whispered into Kerry's ear.

"I love you too…be safe."

"Yeah...you too!" Sandy teased as Kerry walked out of the front door.

**  
7:50 A.M.**

"Morning, Kerry." Abby greeted Kerry as she walked in the lounge, where Kerry was standing at her locker, switching her warm, winter jacket for her white lab coat.

"Good Morning Abby, you on today?"

"Yeah, I got on at seven…how's Henry?" Abby inquired as she walked over to the refrigerator where she grabbed a bottle of water.

"He's great…an absolute madman, but he's wonderful...it's hard to imagine he'll be two years old next week." Kerry answered with enthusiasm. It wasn't often a co-worker asked about her personal life…but Abby was different. She had been there for Kerry when she had miscarried, and again when Henry was in the NICU, sick.

"I bet...even to me it seems like it was just yesterday he was born...I still can't believe you kept it a secret that long; I was so shocked when I walked in and saw the two of you." Abby said with a smile.

Kerry then thought of Abby's own pregnancy, "So, how have you been feeling?" She asked, closing her locker door.

"Pretty good, surprisingly, I've barely had any nausea." Abby answered as they left the lounge, heading to the admit desk.

"That's good, glad to hear it." Kerry answered.

"Boss lady! Great to see you down here, it's been a while!" Morris called out annoyingly, as he saw Kerry walk to the desk, donning her now rarely-worn white coat.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Morris," she replied dryly, "How's the board looking?" She asked, taking lead, as she walked over to get a better look at the glass board.

"Not too busy…" He answered.

"Is that so? Because it looks as if you are juggling…6 patients….so maybe you should be getting you're butt to work?" Kerry asked, rhetorically.

"I think that's a wonderful idea." Luka answered from the main desk, sending Morris on his way.

"And that's our chief resident...wow." Kerry said, smirking, before going on, "Anyway, how was the night shift?"

"Nothing special…besides the six car pile up on the expressway…we got five in all; two minor, one in the ICU, and two in post-op." Luka answered, switching his lab coat for his winter jacket.

"Alright. Have a good day, Luka." Kerry called out to Luka as he headed to the door, where Abby was waiting to walk him out.

"You too." He replied, as he grabbed Abby's hand.

**  
3:20 P.M.**

"Alright Frank, things seem to be under control…I'm going to head across the street for a cup of coffee…be back in a few." Kerry called out to the desk clerk as she wrapped her scarf around her neck, heading out to face the cold. _Good Lord,_ she thought,_ it was 30 degrees this morning…it feels about 15 now…damn wind. _The cold wasn't exactly her favorite thing about Chicagoan winters, nor was the ice, as she had become sure of just a few weeks before when she had the opprotunity to get up close and personal with it in the ambulance bay.

Once she had purchased her coffee, Kerry headed back to the ER through the ambulance bay.

"Any messages for me, Frank?" She asked, as she came out of the lounge after putting her jacket away.

"Oh! Dr. Weaver…Sandy's mom is here with Henry…They are in curtain area 1. I guess they were outside and Henry slipped…he has a head lac, looks like it'll be about 5 stitches...Abby and I figured we'd wait for you to do it." Sam Taggart answered before Frank got a chance.

"Oh my God, is he alright?!" Kerry asked, setting her coffee down and moving towards her son.

"Yeah, he's just fine…not even upset, really…pretty tough." Sam answered with a smile, handing over his chart.

"Yeah…that's Henry." Kerry answered, smiling back. She and Sandy had had countless playful arguments about who he got it from; they concluded that it was a mutual trait.

"Hi sweetie," Kerry said maternally when she neared the bed on which her son was sitting. "What happened to your head?" She asked.

"Abuelita and me were outside and I slipped on the stairs! I didn't even cry, mommy!" Henry answered, smiling proudly.

"Ah, that's mommy's boy." Kerry said to her son's delight before she turned her attention to Florina. "Did he lose consciousness at all?"

"No…he's a brave little boy. He just got right back up and told me he was okay." Sandy's mother said, smiling at her grandson.

"Okay…good," Kerry said. "How about we get you fixed up, little man?" She asked her son before asking Sam to set up a suture kit.

After suturing her son's laceration, sending him back home with Florina, and calling Sandy to let her know what was up, Kerry continued on with her shift.

**  
8:03 P.M.**

Upon completion of her shift, Kerry was more than ready to get home. After briefing Clemente on the patients still there, she headed out. After carefully walking up to the El platform,  
Kerry grabbed a seat, thankful that her route wasn't crowded, and road to the stop nearest her home. Her hip was sore, and at that moment, she regretted not taking Sandy's offer to take the car.

After the 20 minute ride and walking a few blocks, Kerry was finally back home. Sending Florina home, Kerry went to check on Henry who was fast asleep. She didn't want to have to wake him up, but knew that she'd have to check his neurological status.

Picking him up gently, she woke him up.

"Hey sweetie...how's your head feeling?" She asked him.

Rubbing his eyes sleepily, he answered quietly, "It's okay mommy...you did a good job, it doesn't even hurt." Smiling, Kerry kissed his forehead and put him back in his crib,

"Okay, sweetie...goodnight."

Shutting Henry's bedroom door, Kerry went and started a bath. As she had earlier that day, she turned the radio on, this time tuning it to to a soft-listening station, and undressed. Soon, the bath was filled and she slowly lowered herself into the hot water. Listening to the soft vocals of Norah Jones, the ache in her hip slowly diminished as she fell into a light sleep.

After a fair amount of time- exactly how long, she wasn't sure- Kerry heard the front door open, snapping her out of her rest. Getting out of the bath, she wrapped up in her bathrobe and made her way out to the kitchen, where Sandy was sitting at the island, drinking a beer.

"Rough day?" Kerry asked, reading Sandy's body language, as she poured herself a glass of wine.

Getting up from her seat, Sandy walked into the living room and sat on the couch, "You could say that...how's Henry's head?"

Moving slowly to sit next to Sandy on the couch, Kerry answered, "He's fine...he told me it didn't hurt, and that I'd done a good job...it's quite nice to be praised by your nearly two year old son," Kerry joked, "but really, he's fine...I checked his neuro status when I got home, now he's sound asleep."

"Good...how are you doing...and don't bullshit me, Kerry, I want to know how you really are, okay?" Sandy asked sincerely, turning to face Kerry.

"I'm...okay. I decided I'm going to go see Kline later this week, though...I think it's time to re-consider the replacement...." She answered, leaning her head back.

"Good...it's about damn time you re-think this. I mean, I can understand that the whole 'not being who you've always been' thing kind of bothers you," she said, adding quotations with her fingers around the words Kerry herself had said, "but Kerry, how you walk and how much pain you're in doesn't make a difference...you and I both know that it's as good a time as any to get this done and over with...and hell, I know I'm not going to think of you any differently with a piece of metal drilled into your leg than I do now." Sandy finished, laughing.

Sandy's humor put Kerry at ease, and she knew she was right; _I'm not going to be any different, sure it's going to be different, but it'll be good..._she thought to herself. After listening to each other's stories from their day's- Kerry talked of Morris' incompetence and Ray's potential and Sandy of the multiple false alarms the station had that day- the two headed upstairs to bed.

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So...I think it's pretty lame, but I've had this on my computer for about five months, and decided I might as well finish it and publish it. I know it's not great, but it's something different.

Review to tell me if you agree with me? :)


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